Nov 23

It has been 35 hours since I've seen my baby. Nothing I wanted more than to see her and hold her. There was only one thing stopping me and that was being discharged. Matt would be over after Amelia's drs and nurses switched over. He wanted to meet the new nurse and give her his number just incase.

I had a new nurse, Courtney. She came in and said "I hear we need to get you out of here with quickness so let's make a plan now and once you are given the okay you can be with your baby." That's so sweet I thought. I was being given an Antibiotic and when it was finished I would get my IV out. Then I would be able to shower and get all my stuff together and just wait to sign my papers. Matt showed up and we went into "get me out of here" mode. Talk about a great man. He was so awesome helping me. He knew that I was stubborn and wanting to do as much as I could, but he was also not wanting to see me struggle and hurt. So he backed off some but would jump in when he couldn't take it. He helped me shower, which did feel nice after toe nights in there but I would have been okay with leaving without one! While showering Matt told me that he told Amelia to get stronger because he was going to get her mama!! That man is pure awesome. Amelia has the best father anyone could ever ask for. And she has her Heavenly Father!!!! Courtney was awesome helping me get ready and get things for us. You never think about things that happen when being released without a baby. I mentioned that it's sad we are leaving empty handed. No baby, nothing from the nursery, no pictures. This was not in my plans. I planned on buying hospital pictures. I planned on utilizing the hospital resources to help me with Amelia and doing what's best for her. The only person that came by was for her birth certificate and lactation. I told the lactation person I would love to need her, even just for pumping but she's won't be getting anything for a long while. I felt robbed of everything. Courtney knew I wasn't going home but to the hospital so she made sure to load me with supplies for me. She even put in a few things for Amelia, like a pack of wipes and some diapers. That was so sweet of her! 

That morning was such a blur and all I can think of was going to see my girl. I remember the dr coming in and telling me he's gonna release me but really need to take it easy. I remember telling Courtney I didn't need a wheelchair and walking to the car. I wanted to yell at Matt to hurry up and get me there but I knew he was doing the same thing I was, rushing! I knew he wanted to be back with Amelia just as much as I did. The ride over was horrible. Every bump killed me, but that was okay. Matt was trying to drive slow, but then again he wasn't. He dropped me off at the front door and told me to meet him at the elevator at floor two and he would take me up to her. I was so scared, nervous, but more than anything...excited to be seeing my little fighter!