Yes, I am fat

That was awful nice of you to notice that I have put some weight on. It was even more awesome to hear you talking about it behind my back. I guess the tears falling from my face as I look at myself in a mirror or the fact that my clothes are tight and I am completely and utterly disgusted by myself wasn't enough. 

I guess when you are on the outside looking in it is easy to cast judgement on me. "Oh, she doesn't work, why can't she workout" or "She needs to go on a diet, she's nasty" Thank you. I didn't realize that your life was completely perfect that you need to judge me. 

Yes, I should go on a diet, but have you ever left the house at 9 am and come home at 4 pm because you were running to appointments with your daughter who has a multitude of medical conditions? I'm lucky sometimes if I even eat, so the last thing I am worried about is finding time to actually sit and eat a salad. Have you ever had an infant at home who just had brain surgery (and right now is teething)? Have a child who is in pain when it rains or storms, which we've had a lot of lately? That child does not want to be put down. She wants the comfort of her mother. Again, getting to eat is a luxury those days, and I try to find the quickest thing I can. So, yes I should diet and eat better, but until you've spent a week in my shoes, running to and from appointments, trying to deal with everything you've been thrown, please don't judge. 

Yes, I should exercise. Read the above paragraph and tell me when I can do that. The treadmill wakes her up, so when she is napping or sleeping at night isn't an option. I barely get any sleep as it is and I am not trying to go and over do it because society says I am fat and I need to. I need to make sure that I am doing what I can to take care of my baby. If that doesn't please you, sorry. 

I shouldn't even have to justify myself. I shouldn't have to feel even more like crap than I already to do because people like to judge others. Walk a week in my shoes. Just 1 week. Appointments every day (most days there are more than 1). After watching your child have 5 brain surgeries you don't want to see her cry, even for just a few minutes. You see how that makes her heart rate rise and how it causes pressure in her head and the last thing you want to do it see her cry. 

If you are so disgusted by me, please feel free to exit my life. I have enough to worry about without having to worry about people talking negatively behind my back. If my husband doesn't have an issues with me and loves me for who I am, than I am happy.